They say the sequel is always worse than the original. I assure you, however, that this won’t be the case here. It’ll be much worse. Welcome to the blog.
So here we are, back again for some more ill-informed and questionable opinions. I sincerely apologise to those of you who clicked on this expecting to find distinguished and classic films on this list, but (much like women who would be willing to have sex with Boris Johnson) they will be very few in number.
Now I understand some of you may not be bothered to read this. I’ll admit, making this list was about as necessary as a 260 mile car journey, during lockdown, to Durham. However it serves as a way for me to pass the time and convince myself that the rankings aren’t stupid. Some of you may disagree, which is absolutely fine. I can’t expect you to be right about everything.
If any of you thought the first ten films on the list were bad, then maybe you should just quit while you’re ahead. For the best, probably. If you agree with my films, my reaction is the same as Nigel Farage’s when he meets a braindead racist: ‘good to know I’m not the only one’.
That’s enough filler, let’s jump ourselves right back into places 40-31. I can tell from where I’m sitting that you are all on the edge of your seats, and rightly so. These levels of originality have never been seen before.
Without any further ado, let’s get to it.
40) Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Starting off this leg of the list is a superhero spy epic that has the indomitable theme of friendship running throughout it. Steve Rogers is the heroic Captain America, who stands up for the great American values of freedom, respect, and widespread obesity. This film sees S.H.I.E.L.D compromised and infiltrated by the villainous H.Y.D.R.A, and it’s up to Cap, as well as Black Widow and new recruit Falcon, to take down the enemies. There are some incredibly choreographed scenes, including an extremely accurate recreation of what happened when I accidentally got in an elevator with 12 highly-trained marines. Because of their wanted status, they have to follow a trail of crumbs (cake crumbs I’d imagine, as it is America) in order to expose Pierce and his cronies. The mysterious villain, The Winter Soldier, makes some appearances and it’s surprisingly someone from Steve’s past. They fight but neither wants to end it, showing that their love will prevail. They also manage to crash the huge ships into the Reflecting Pool. The last time Washington D.C was ruined on that scale, Donald Trump had arrived for his inauguration. Overall the film is magnificent, pushing the boundaries of a traditional superhero movie and laying the path for films to come.
39) The Lion King
Yet another animated film, which does nothing more here than expose how much of a child I really am. Let me be clear though, this is the 1994 classic, not the 2019 cash grab. This film is brilliant, with an iconic soundtrack that you can’t help belt out whenever you hear it, as well as a legendary opening sequence. I love this film because of how relatable it is, I’ve faced barriers that I had to overcome, I’ve fought for control of things and probably most relevantly, I’ve watched from clifftops as members of my family have been trampled to death by herds of wildebeest. It’s one of these films that draws you in despite its seemingly child-oriented premise, and you can’t help but rewatch every now and then. the tale of a young lion overcoming adversity while maintaining the goodness in his heart is timeless, and will be remembered forever. The characters are extremely likeable, we have Simba the ambitious young lion who wants to take his place as the true ruler of the savanna, Zazu the bird who’s just concerned for his wellbeing, and even Scar, the evil lion who would stop at nothing to seize the throne. The film will be treasured forever, and loved by all that watch it.
38) Jaws
DuDu…DuDu…DuDu..DuDu..DuDu..DuDuDuDuDuDuDuDu. What more is there to say?
37) The Lord of The Rings: The Return of the King
At number 37 we have the film that is tied for most Oscars ever won, at 11. This is one of the most influential films ever made, and watching it is just being in awe for over 3 hours. Some of the battles in this piece of art (and that’s what it is) are exceptional. I look at the battles in this film the same way David Cameron looks at a dead pig’s mouth: just wishing I could get myself inside of it. The culmination of two previous films and their build up, The Return of the King delivers in every way. The might of the evil Sauron is shown to be lengthy, with his extensive orc armies being worthy adversaries. The fellowship has to stand strong in the face of all these enemies. Frodo and Sam are just the epitome of friendship, standing by each other when the going inevitably gets tough. Gollum is as iconic as ever, and his fixation over the ring is chilling. Now in my opinion Dumbledore is just a Btec Gandalf, as Gandalf the white would destroy anyone in a wizard battle. The final defense of Minas Tirith is glorious, as hordes of orcs are held off by Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli alongside the Army of the Dead. The scale of this film is amazing, and if you watch the extended cut (in answer to your question: of course I have, what did you expect?) it takes the runtime over 4 hours and inspires you even more. Its a satisfying end to the trilogy, but not the best one of the three in my opinion. That’ll come further down the list. This film is just hands down brilliant, though.
36) The Avengers
The original superhero team-up movie, this film set the standard for the MCU and showed that such a dramatic concept could (and would) work. After each of their solo movies (well not Hawkeye and Black Widow but they weren’t deemed relevant enough), the Avengers finally meet up. They don’t initially get along, with Thor seeing himself as above the others and trying to capture Loki for himself, but after Agent Coulson gets stabbed in the back (both metaphorically and literally) they come together to face the bigger enemy. Loki has an army of Chitauri aliens attack New York City with him, and that’s where the craziness begins. This battle scene shows us what a superhero film can be, and raised the bar for cinema in general. We see strange looking creatures fighting in the streets, it’s like a Friday night in Blackpool. The six heroes destroy the incoming forces, with a quick, extremely impractical when you think about it, stop to stand in a circle and pose. This photo op helped them defeat the enemy because reasons. Looked pretty awesome though. As the S.H.I.E.L.D board of directors tried to wipe out the whole island with a missile, Iron Man has to save the day by flying the missile right into the black , and shutting it down. Thanos isn’t best pleased, as one would imagine. This movie is one of two great films about awesome groups, the other being ‘One Direction: This Is Us’. In all seriousness, anyone who hasn’t seen this movie has lost a lot of my respect. Absolutely necessary viewing for everyone.
35) Spider-Man 2
An incredible superhero movie that seamlessly blends action, comedy and horror themes. We meet Otto Octavius, a genius scientist who’s wife died in an experiment that went wrong. He is also left with 8 metal arms fused to his back, which he uses to enact his criminal plans. When he wakes up in the hospital and kills all the doctor and nurses surrounding him, it genuinely looks like a slasher movie. On the Peter Parker side of things, as he gets older his web shooters are starting to fire blanks more often. That’s definitely a metaphor for something, but I don’t know if I want to go looking for what. Peter breaks up bones, gangs and weddings as he rushes to stop Doctor Octopus, and he is successful in doing so. Even despite a crisis period where he supposedly gives up the mantle of Spiderman, he is able to come to his senses and save the day. He even has his identity revealed to Harry, who now blames his best friend for the death of his father. So everything’s going swimmingly. Overall this film really is the strongest from the Raimi trilogy, and while it has been the norm recently to criticize it, this movie is brilliant.
34) Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
The third of the original trilogy, and incidentally the first one of the three to appear on this list. From the very opening moments in Jabba’s palace on Tatooine, we know this film will be good. (Jabba The Hutt incidentally looks if Donald trump really let himself go). Han Solo is unfrozen, and our original gang is back together. After fighting a Rancor, the group are fed to the Sarlacc, which on first glance seems like a giant anus in the desert, but on further inspection is a carnivorous plant. They are doing flips and tricks with the lightsabers, fighting there way into controlling the speeder. We also meet professional Theresa May lookalike Emperor Palpatine, who tries to convince Luke to join the dark side, but I hardly think after 2 movies of fighting and almost dying to stop the Sith, he’d be willing to just join the family business now. We also get the (kind of) saving of Darth Vader, who after years of trying to kill his son thinks ‘maybe that’s not the best idea’ and decides to help him stop Palpatine. This brings the original trilogy off to a resounding finish, and is admirable in the way it ties up loose ends and shows excellently choreographed fight scenes.
33) Knives Out
At 33 we have a film I only watched recently and even reviewed on this site not too long ago. The murder mystery epic Knives Out is a fantastic and enthralling film with a great story and intriguing cinematography. Daniel Craig plays the sophisticated sleuth Benoit Blanc, who is anonymously hired to investigate the death of a famed crime writer. The mystery is brilliant, as more and more clues come out that are perplexing to me or you. We have an all-star cast, a terrific writer in the form of Rian Johnson, and some of the set design is very good as well. Murder, firebombing, blackmail, deceit; no it’s not a war, it’s just a family fighting over some inheritance. Some of the things this family does are about as necessary as an hours drive to Barnard Castle to ‘test your eyesight’. Also credit must go to whoever came up with the idea for the knife wall, it was like if Jack the Ripper decided to start a career in interior design. I won’t go on too long about it as I have reviewed it recently, just know that this is a top movie.
32) Black Panther
Wakanda Forever (I don’t necessarily know if I can say that). Black Panther is not just unique as a superhero movie but unique as a movie on the whole. We have a villain whose point makes sense, and we can easily understand their viewpoint. Erik Killmonger (side note: with a surname like that surely you’re setting your child up to be a supervillain) is the son of the murdered prince of Wakanda, and he returns to reclaim his throne. The fights on the waterfalls are magnificent, as is the ever-funny Ulysses Klaue. There are also some big issues dealt with, such as the museum scene where Killmonger is treated with apprehension blatantly because of his race. Now I’m not going to pretend to be some sort of authority figure on this, but it’s good to see it being acknowledged by large companies and not ignored. The bit when the armoured rhinos charge is very cool, as is the scene in Seoul. The action in this one is brilliant, as is the family dynamic between T’challa and Shuri. This serves as a decent precursor to Infinity War, and gives us lots of food for thought.
31) Toy Story 3
The great ending to the Toy Story trilogy (until TS4 came along), that has magnificent animation and heart as well. The story sees Woody, Buzz and the gang sent to a nursery, with a toy underworld run by the evil Lotso. They are given an insight into the harsh realities of kindergarten toy life, as well as having to work on a seemingly fruitless escape plan. Tom Hanks is terrific (as always), and their heist set-up has all the more real consequences as Andy is leaving for college. Everyone is shocked at this revelation from Andy (How dare he move on with his life?) and they want him to keep them forever. Now it would strike me as weird if a man in his 40s had lots of dolls he plays with, and I know I’m not the only one. The film is deceptively sad, and the bit at the end in the incinerator is extremely emotional. I won’t spoil it for you, but would it be a good kids movie if it showed the protagonists melting away into death at the end? With a funny and heartfelt script and a brilliant voice cast, this film is very, very strong.
And that’s part 2 done! Disagree? I don’t care.
No, no, if you do have any alterations or genuine feedback feel free to get in touch with me about it. I love (tolerate) hearing from people, so don’t be afraid to shoot me a message. Unlike sharks, my satire and Luis Suarez, I don’t bite.
Make sure to come back for the remaining parts of the list, if only to see how bad it does get later on. (Yes, this is the least questionable part.). (I know.).
Well I hope to see you back soon, despite the fact this is a website and there’s not way for me too see you but you get the sentiment.
Until next time,
THR
The Hughes Review 
Hew, this is class, keep gannin’ fella. ^-^
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